LAUREN…It’s been great to see the word spreading about the new book People magazine featured it as a “great read” for parents.  Ladies Home Journal called it “hilarious and insightful.”  The Seattle Times said it was “painfully funny, occasionally shocking, tender, wry.”   And I love the enthusiasm of the “mommybloggers” — in the trenches mothers like me — who see the truth, both funny and harrowing, of the story I tell.

One question I am getting from just about everyone who reads or hears about (or reviews or blogs about) the book  is:  How in the world did you get your daughter to agree to this? “This” being my 18-month immersion in her life — from middle school classrooms to summer camp, online chat groups to the mall.

Good question.

Let me state for the record that there was no coercion, and no money changed hands.  (I do pay her for her blog posts, however.  I want to teach her that writers CAN make a living…She can discover the hard truth for herself later.)  I presented the project to Lizzie not as “let me attach myself to you, follow you everywhere and embarrass the hell out of you” but rather “can you be my guide as I try to understand your world?”  I think she said yes — pretty much immediately — because I put her in the position of expert…which is exactly what she was and is.   She was not only the expert on her own life but also my personal informed source on 21st century teen girl culture.  The fact that she could be teaching me was not lost on her.  It is not often that a 12 year old gets to teach an adult (let alone her mother) anything.

Also, I think Lizzie was complimented (not that she would ever ever admit this) that she would be the focus of such a significant effort, the star, the main character.  I am not talking ego as much as self-esteem.  Who I am, what I think, what I do, matters. That’s the message she heard, I believe.   And it matters not just because, of course, it matters to your own mom, but it matters in a bigger way.  That’s why she said yes.

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